We are here, in Israel. We made the journey with 3 little ones relatively unscathed although I thought the 5 hour flight would last for eternity!
I had the scan with the fetal specialist on Monday and although I went in very postive expecting everything to be ok it wasn’t. The scan lasted nearly an hour and even then there was 6 parts of her anatomy they didn’t get to see. The consultant’s summation was that there is a chromosomal or genetic abnormality that is causing the problems. The bright spots on her bowel is called echogenic bowel and it has been labelled as severe and not as a result of swallowing blood which it can sometimes mean. The problem kidney he said is not functioning at all apparently and is now 8mm in diameter (below 4mm is nornal) He says that’s not a problem as she can have surgery when she is born or people can function on one healthy kidney. She is incrediably small for dates (under the third centile) and I have had fairly big babies at 8.8 oz, for G and 7.14oz for both A and H so this isn’t normal for me. The fluid is still the same, dangerously low and her long bones are measuring small. Basically she has many Down syndrome markers so they want to do a cvs procedure where they put a needle in and withdraw some of the placenta for testing. I have said that I don’t want to risk it so have declined this. I did have another blood test to look for any possible infection and cystic fibrosis and Paul will need to have the same blood test to see if he is a carrier for cystic fybrosis as well.
All of this put together does not give a very positive picture and they said that she may not grow anymore and not make it. What horrific news! …..and I was on my own as well. I rang Paul afterwards to tell him and he didn’t take it very well at all. I didn’t have too much time to dwell on it as I had to pack for Israel, there was lots to do.
The way I am coping is by praying and asking others to pray. I am still believing in faith that Jessie Faith will be healed and healthy and whole and if not then she will still be loved and cared for. Ironically as I said in a post before this pregnancy has been amazing compared to the others and still continues to be very symptom free. I have been racking my head to see if there was something I have done to cause this, there is a sense of guilt that I am trying to overcome as it’s not anybodies fault.
My next scan is in June but the consultant was so negative about the outcome that he intimated I might not even get that far. His words were ‘I’m not expecting a miracle.’
I say no, I am expecting a miracle and my God is completely able to do it. This was a picture of the first scan last Friday, as you can see there is little fluid ( it should be dark around the baby where the fluid would be)